Due to the fact that narcissists often move on and get new sources of narcissistic supply so quickly, it is common for the people they leave behind to want to know the reason that the narcissist in their life looks so happy with their new source of supply.
Generally speaking, narcissists look happy with their new supply because they are in the idealization phase. During this phase, they shower the new supply with love, attention, and affection, which can make it seem like they are truly happy, but this initial happiness is often superficial and short-lived.
In this article we are going to guide you through the typical dynamics of the beginning stages of narcissistic relationships so that you can grasp a comprehensive understanding of the reason that narcissists look happy with their new supply.
They Look Happy Because They Are In the Idealization Phase
To idealize someone means to view them in an idealized or perfect way, often beyond what is realistic or reasonable.
When you idealize someone, you only focus on their positive aspects, and subsequently, overlook any flaws or negative traits that they have.
This can lead to an unrealistic and overly positive perception of the person, which may not accurately reflect who they are in reality.
Unfortunately, narcissists are incredibly talented at manipulating their new supply into idealizing them.
They do this by subjecting them to something called the idealization phase.
What is this?
The idealization phase is a stage in the beginning of a narcissistic relationship where the narcissist puts on a charming and attractive facade to win the trust and admiration of the person that they are abusing.
During this phase, the narcissist will shower the person that they are abusing with attention, affection, gifts, and compliments, to make them feel special and wanted.
The reason that narcissists do this is because they want to manipulate the person that they are abusing into believing that they are the perfect partner.
When done successfully, the person being abused will feel overwhelmed with positive emotions, such as happiness, excitement, and gratitude.
They will start to see the narcissist as their soulmate, someone who understands them on a deeper level and can fulfill all their needs and desires.
The person being abused may even feel like they have found the missing piece in their life and be eager to commit to the relationship fully.
As you can imagine, the idealization phase is an incredibly intense and addictive experience for those experiencing narcissistic abuse.
This is because narcissists are very good at tapping into our deep-seated desire for love, acceptance, and security.
This manipulates us into becoming emotionally attached and feeling a sense of dependence and loyalty towards the narcissist.
Just to be clear, the idealization phase is not genuine love or affection.
It is a calculated and strategic tactic that narcissists use to exploit our vulnerabilities and establish a sense of control over us.
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Once they sense that we’ve become emotionally invested in the relationship, they will drop the charming and attractive facade and begin the devaluation phase.
With all of that being said, from the outside looking in, the dynamics of the idealization phase can make it seem like the narcissist is truly happy with their new supply.
In fact, the narcissist may even wave their new relationship in front of your face via social media or directly by saying things like, “I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like them,” or “They are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
If you didn’t know that all of this was a lie, it could very well seem like the narcissist is genuinely happy with their new supply.
Recommended Article:
We just mentioned something called the devaluation phase. Are you familiar with it? If not, check out our article “What Comes After Love Bombing With a Narcissist?“ for more information about it.
They Look Happy Because They Are Love Bombing Their New Supply
In the previous section, we were talking about the idealization phase.
During this phase, narcissists shower the person that they are abusing with love, attention, and affection.
Well, this tactic is often referred to as love bombing.
The sole purpose of love bombing is to gain control and power over others.
Again, from the outside looking in, love bombing can make it seem like the narcissist is truly happy with their new supply.
Here’s an example that shows how:
Meet Jack, a narcissistic man who owns a company.
Jack has recently met Jane, a new employee at his company.
Jack is immediately drawn to Jane and begins love bombing her.
At first, Jack shows Jane an excessive amount of attention, flattery, and affection.
He takes her out to expensive dinners, buys her lavish gifts, and showers her with compliments.
Jack makes sure to text or call Jane frequently, constantly expressing how much he enjoys spending time with her and how special she is to him.
From an outsider’s perspective, Jack’s behavior towards Jane looks like a display of genuine affection and love.
Jack’s coworkers see him talking excitedly about Jane and notice him taking her out on romantic dates.
Jack seems happy and content in his interactions with Jane, giving the impression that he has found someone he deeply cares for.
But unfortunately, he hasn’t. He has simply found a new source of narcissistic supply and is putting her through the idealization phase.
Recommended Article:
Our article “What Do Narcissists Do During the Love Bombing Phase?“ has a lot of helpful information about the dynamics of the love bombing phase.
They Look Happy Because They Want You to Believe That They Are Happy
For narcissists, appearances are everything.
They will often go to great lengths to convince others that they are happy and satisfied with their lives.
This is because being perceived as happy gives them the validation, admiration, and reassurance that they so desperately need.
Of course, there are times where a narcissist will try to gain the sympathy of others by presenting themselves as sad and depressed.
But generally speaking, coming off as happy gives them the supply that they need to suppress all of the deeply-seated painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions about themselves.
Because of this, it is very common for narcissists to do everything in their power to convince their surrounding environment that they are happy with their new supply.
They wouldn’t want anyone thinking that they weren’t happy because that could imply that they lost.
If this sounds ridiculous, it is because it is.
Remember, to a narcissist, everything is a competition. Everything is a chance for them to prove that they are superior.
When they end the relationship that they had with their old supply and move on to the new supply, they want to appear happy because they want everyone to acknowledge that they won.
Here are some ways that they will do this:
Devaluing their previous partners: Narcissists may speak negatively about their ex-partners, painting themselves as the victim in their previous relationships. This helps convince both themselves and others that their new relationship is a significant improvement, and they are now truly happy.
Controlling the narrative: Narcissists may carefully curate what information they share with others about their relationship, emphasizing the positive and “happy” aspects while downplaying or hiding any negative ones.
Using social media: It isn’t uncommon for narcissists to use social media to present an idealized version of their relationship with the new supply, sharing only the most flattering pictures and stories to create the perception that they are truly happy.
Love bombing: As we mentioned before, narcissists often shower their new supply with compliments, attention, and gifts to create the illusion of a perfect relationship. It is common for them to excessively praise and flatter their new partner in front of others, to reinforce the perception that they are truly happy.
Idealizing their partner: As we mentioned before, narcissists often present their new supply as the most amazing person they have ever met, idealizing and exaggerating their positive traits to create a positive and “happy” image of the relationship.
Recommended Article:
In this section of the article we mentioned that sometimes narcissists portray themselves as depressed to manipulate you. Our article “Why Do Narcissists Go Into a Depression?“ has helpful information about this.
Join Our Free Healing Program
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Join Our Free Healing Program
- A Weekly Group Session With a Psychologist
- A Weekly Video Lesson From a Therapist
- Support Groups (Sat. & Sun. 10am-3pm ET)
- A Daily Trauma Recovery Guide